180+ Best Week Quotes Funny

 Week Quotes Funny To Make You Laugh Out Loud

Week quotes Funny sayings to make a smile on your face. Sometimes the start of the week just boring no one wants to go to work on Monday. These funny week quotes start your week with smiles and happiness. After reading these Week Quotes you can start your week with a beautiful smile.Week Quotes Funny

Here is the collection of more than 180 Week quotes Funny. Don’t forget to share these Best Week Quotes Funny with your friends and families. Also, you can share this Amazing Week Quotes funny images on your social media timelines.

Don’t forget to share these week’s quotes funny with your friends and family to make them happy too. You can share these funny weeks’ quotes on your social media statuses like Facebook, WhatsApp, Pinterest, Reedit Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media you use.

Here are a collection of Week funny quotes images to share with your friends and family. Also, you can share this week’s funny quotes on your social media timelines. 

Week Quotes Funny Images

Here is a collection of Week quotes funny images that will bring a smile to your face. Don’t forget to share these best week quotes funny images with your friends and families. Also, you can share these amazing week quotes funny images on your social media timelines.
Week Quotes Funny

1. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”– Winston Churchill Woody AllenWeek Quotes Funny2. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”– Charlie ChaplinWeek Quotes Funny3. “Political correctness is tyranny with manners.”– Charlton HestonWeek Quotes Funny
4. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”– Abraham LincolnWeek Quotes Funny5. “The best the thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”– Abraham LincolnWeek Quotes Funny6. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”– Al McGuireWeek Quotes Funny7. “Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”– Albert CamusWeek Quotes Funny8. “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”– Albert EinsteinWeek Quotes Funny9. “All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”– Alexander WoollcottWeek Quotes Funny10. “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”– Ambrose Bierce

 Week Quotes Funny

Here is the collection of Week quotes Funny sayings that will bring a smile to your face. Don’t forget to share these best week quotes Funny sayings with your friends and families. Also, you can share these amazing week quotes Funny sayings on your social media timelines.

  1. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”– Andy Rooney
  2. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”– Ann Landers
  3. “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”– Arthur C. Clarke
  4. “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”– Ashleigh Brilliant
  5. “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.”– Ashleigh Brilliant
  6. “Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”– Benjamin Franklin
  7. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” Benjamin Franklin
  8. “Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”– Benny Hill
  9. “Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”– Bertrand Russell
  10. “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”– Bertrand Russell
  11. “Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”– Bill Maher
  12. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”– Billy Wilder
  13. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”– Bob Hope
  14. “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”– Bryan White
  15. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”– Buddy Hackett
  16. “My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.”– Caroline Rhea
  17. “All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”– Casey Stengel
  18. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”– Charles de Gaulle
  19. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”– Charles Lamb
  20. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”– Charles M. Schulz
  21. “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”– Charles Wadsworth
  22. “High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.”– Christopher Morley
  23. “If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”– Chuck Palahniuk
  24. “When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.”– Clarence Darrow
  25. “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”– Clint Eastwood
  26. “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”– Colonel Sanders
  27. “Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”– Cullen Hightower
  28. “If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?”– Cynthia Heimel
  29. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”– Dalai Lama
  30. “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”– Dale Carnegie

Motivational Week quotes Funny sayings

Here is the collection of motivational week quotes funny sayings. Don’t forget to share these best Motivational week quotes funny sayings with your friends and families. Also, you can share these amazing Motivational week quotes funny sayings on your social media timelines.

  1. “Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.”– Daniel J. Boorstin
  2. “It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.”– Dave Barry
  3. “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”– Dave Barry
  4. “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”– David Lee Roth
  5. “Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.”– David Letterman
  6. “The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.”– Demetri Martin
  7. “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow
    faster in the future.”– Denis Waitley
  8. “Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.”– Desmond Morris
  9. “As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”– Dick Cavett
  10. “An a pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”– Don Marquis
  11. “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”– Dorothy Parker
  12. “Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”– Doug Larson
  13. “To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.”– Doug Larson
  14. “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.”– Douglas Adams
  15. “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”– Dr. Seuss
  16. “I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.”– Drake
  17. “An the alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.”– Dylan Thomas
  18. “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.”– E. B. White
  19. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”– Earl Wilson
  20. “The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.”– Edward Abbey
  21. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”– Elbert Hubbard
  22.  “A woman is like a teabag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”– Eleanor Roosevelt
  23. “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.”– Emo Philips
  24. “How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.”– Emo Philips
  25. “Leave something for someone but doesn’t leave someone for something.”– Enid Blyton
  26. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”– Erma Bombeck
  27. “Never have more children than you have car windows.”– Erma Bombeck
  28. “I drink to make other people more interesting.”– Ernest Hemingway
  29. “Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.”– F. Scott Fitzgerald
  30. “You’re only as good as your last haircut.”– Fran Lebowitz
  31.  “Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”– Francois de La Rochefoucauld
  32. “Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.”– Francois de La Rochefoucauld
  33. “The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”– Fred Allen
  34. “Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.”– George Bernard Shaw

Inspirational Week quotes and Funny sayings

Here is the collection of inspirational week quotes funny sayings. Don’t forget to share these best inspirational week quotes funny sayings with your friends and families. Also, you can share these amazing inspirational week quotes funny sayings on your social media timelines.

  1. “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.”– George Bernard Shaw
  2. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”– George Burns
  3. “If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”– George Burns
  4. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”– George Carlin
  5. “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”– George Carlin
  6. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”– George Carlin
  7.  “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”– George Carlin
  8. “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”– George Carlin
  9. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”– Gertrude Stein
  10. “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”– Groucho Marx
  11. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”– Groucho Marx
  12. “Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!”– Groucho Marx
  13. “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”– Groucho Marx
  14.  “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”– Groucho Marx
  15. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”– Groucho Marx
  16. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”– Groucho Marx
  17. “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”– H. L. Mencken
  18. “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”– Harlan Ellison
  19. “It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.”– Harry S. Truman
  20. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need if I die by four o’clock.”– Henny Youngman
  21. “All men are equal before fish.”– Herbert Hoover
  22. “If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.” Hillary Clinton
  23. “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try.’”– Homer Simpson
  24. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”– Isaac Asimov
  25. “I’d rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort.”– J. Paul Getty
  26. “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.”– Jackie Mason
  27. “Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.”– James Thurber
  28. “When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.”– Jane Wagner
  29. “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”– Jay Leno
  30. “My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.”– Jean Rostand
  31. “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”– Jeffree Star
  32. “Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.”– Jessica Simpson
  33. “Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.”– Jim Davis
  34. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”– Joan Collins
  35. “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?”– John Barrymore
  36. “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”– John F. Kennedy
  37. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”– John Hughes
  38. “The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.”– John Maynard Keynes
  39. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.”– John Wayne

Short Week Quotes Funny Images

Here is the collection of short week quotes funny images that will bring a smile to your face. Don’t forget to share these best short week quotes funny images with your friends and families. Also, you can share these amazing short week quotes funny images on your social media timelines to your social media friends.
Week Quotes Funny1. “If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”– Johnny CarsonWeek Quotes Funny2. “Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.”– Josh BillingsWeek Quotes Funny3. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”– Katharine HepburnWeek Quotes Funny4. “I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.”– Marc MaronWeek Quotes Funny5. “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”– Mark TwainWeek Quotes Funny6. “Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.”– Oliver GoldsmithWeek Quotes Funny7. “If you must make a noise, make it quietly.”– Oliver HardyWeek Quotes Funny8. “The road to success is always under construction.”– Lily TomlinWeek Quotes Funny9. “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”– Lawrence FerlinghettiWeek Quotes Funny10. “I am only human, although I regret it.”– Mark Twain 

Short Week Quotes Funny

Here is the collection of short week quotes funny sayings that will bring a smile. Don’t forget to share these best week quotes funny sayings with your friends and families. Also, you can share these amazing week quotes funny sayings on your social media timelines.

  1. “I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”– Robin Williams
  2. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”– Robin Williams
  3. “The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.”– Josh Billings
  4. “The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”– Kin Hubbard
  5. “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”– Kurt Vonnegut
  6. “A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.”– Laurence J. Peter
  7. “Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”– Laurence J. Peter
  8. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”– Lily Tomlin
  9. “Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.”– Mae West
  10. “Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.”– Margaret Culkin Banning
  11. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”– Margaret Mead
  12. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”– Mark Twain
  13. “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”– Mark Twain
  14. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”– Mark Twain
  15. “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”– Mark Twain
  16. “I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.”– Mark Twain
  17. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”– Mark Twain
  18. “When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”– Mark Twain
  19. “Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs.”– Martha Scott
  20. “God is at home, it’s we who have gone out for a walk.”– Meister Eckhart
  21. “My the theory is that all of the Scottish cuisines is based on a dare.”– Mike Myers
  22. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”– Miles Kington
  23. “An a committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”– Milton Berle
  24.  “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”– Milton Berle
  25. “I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.”– Mitch Hedberg
  26. “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, and waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”– Muhammad Ali
  27. “God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.”– Naguib Mahfouz
  28. “The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.”– Natalie Wood
  29. “The only the thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.”– Nicolas Chamfort
  30. “A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.”– Oliver Herford

Motivational short Week quotes funny Sayings

Here is the collection of Motivational short week quotes funny sayings. Don’t forget to share these best motivational short week quotes funny images with your friends and families. Also, you can share these amazing motivational short week quotes funny sayings on your social media timelines.

  1. “Man has his will, but a woman has her way.”– Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
  2. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”– Oscar Levant
  3. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”– Oscar Levant
  4. “What the world needs are more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.”– Oscar Levant
  5. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”– Oscar Wilde
  6. “Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”– Oscar
  7. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”– Oscar Wilde
  8. “I can resist everything except temptation.”– Oscar Wilde
  9. Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”– Oscar Wilde
  10. “Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most.”– Ozzy Osbourne
  11. “The only the reason some people get lost in thought is that its unfamiliar territory.”– Paul Fix
  12. “To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.”– Paul R. Ehrlich
  13. “I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.”– Peter Cook
  14. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in
    with them.”– Phyllis Diller
  15. “When a
    man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”– Prince Philip
  16. “Life is a sexually transmitted disease.”– R. D. Laing
  17. “Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”– Redd Foxx
  18.  “The less
    Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church
    – Reinhard Bonnke
  19. “When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.”– Richard Lewis
  20. “Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.”– Rita Mae Brown
  21. “When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”– Rita Rudner
  22. “If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.”– Rob Cordry
  23. “The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”– Robert Bloch
  24. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”– Robert Frost
  25. “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”– Robert Frost
  26. “Older people shouldn’t eat healthy food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”– Robert Orben
  27. “I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”– Rodney Dangerfield
  28. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”– Rodney Dangerfield
  29. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why to take the chance?”– Ronald Reagan
  30. “Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.”– Ronald Reagan

Inspirational short Week quotes funny Sayings

Here is the collection of inspirational short week quotes funny sayings. Don’t forget to share these best inspirational short week quotes funny sayings with your friends and families. Also, you can share these amazing inspirational short week quotes funny sayings on your social media timelines.

  1. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.”– Salvador Dali
  2. “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”– Samuel Goldwyn
  3. “I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.”– Samuel Goldwyn
  4. “I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.”– Scott Adams
  5. “I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.”– Si Robertson
  6. “You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.”– Solomon Schechter
  7. “If any of you cry at my funeral I’ll never speak to you again.”– Stan Laurel
  8. “Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.”– Stephen Colbert
  9. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”– Steve Martin
  10. “It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!”– Steven Weinberg
  11. “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”– Steven Wright
  12. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”– Steven Wright
  13. “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”– Steven Wright
  14. “To steal ideas from one person are plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”– Steven Wright
  15.  “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”– Steven Wright
  16. “The world is a globe. The farther you sail, the closer to home you are.”– Terry Pratchett
  17. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”– Thomas A. Edison
  18. “Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”– Voltaire
  19.  “I hate women because they always know where things are.”– Voltaire
  20. “A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”– W. C. Fields
  21. “We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”– W. H. Auden
  22. “A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”– Walter Bagehot
  23. “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”– Wilhelm
  24. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”– Will Rogers
  25. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”– Winston Churchill
  26. “Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.”– Woody Allen
  27. “Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.”– Yakov Smirnoff
  28. “Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”– Yogi Berra
  29. “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”– Yogi Berra
  30. “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”– Zsa Zsa Gabor

What was your favorite funny week quote from the above week quotes funny sayings?

Hope you have read all these best week quotes funny sayings and enjoyed them. Now, you can implement these Week quotes funny sayings in your daily life. If you have any other week quotes funny images please share them with us in the comment box.

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